OppaFaustusStyle

As we all prepare to enter into 2020 - a new year, a new decade.... I find myself reflecting upon this past year.

There were a few good, memorable times.
Though... I feel there were far more worse times than not.

Will 2020 be any different?
I highly doubt it
I could only hope so....

As far as New Years Resolutions... I suppose the main resolution I should strive for is to actually start writing again.

Writing used to be the one thing I enjoyed above all else.
It helped me escape the cruel reality we live in, and immerse myself into the safety and comfort of the fictional world.

Unfortunately, though... Depression has definitely gotten the better of me these past few years.
It's dragged me into the depths of despair and just pure exhaustion that sometimes... I don't even feel like waking up or going through each day.
Because of that, I've set writing aside despite not really wanting to do so.

But I'm hoping 2020 will bring a little less misfortune, and a little more.... inspiration, motivation, and drive that I desperately need.

If worse comes to worse, I suppose I could always just write angst-filled stories.
Or even horror, which is actually something I've been contemplating trying to write for quite some time.

Who knows... I suppose all I can do is hope for the best, but expect the worst ^^"

To everyone else out there, I wish you all a safe, positive, happy new year!

 

While I've said this many times before, I'm actually making progress in trying to motivate myself to get back into writing.

For now, I plan on working on my OC.
Making changes, improvements, modifications, adding details, etc.
So I may be posting some of my OC information once I'm content and confident enough with it.

And as stated in my previous journal, I'm thinking about possibly starting a yandere fanfic.
But... should I write for particular anime characters, or should I try to write a yandere story using my OC?

Or maybe both?

On a completely different note.... I owe a huge "thank you" to this site.
So! Several years ago, I met a fellow DeviantArt member. 
We started talking on a pretty regular basis, and became friends pretty quickly.

After all these years, we finally had the chance to meet in person.

To be honest, I was super nervous and excited.
Nervous because I'm an extremely self conscious person.
Excited because we have been talking for so long, and I was eager to finally get to meet someone I consider to be a very close and dear friend of mine in person finally.

Happy to say, everything went better than I expected. 
at least I'd like to think so xD

If it wasn't for Deviantart, I would have never met someone I consider to be a lifelong friend.
So thank you to dA for that opportunity ^u^

I've been growing increasingly interested in yandere characters.
To the point where I often find myself thinking stuff like "I'd enjoy seeing how I'd handle myself if I was ever kidnapped", "Stalker? Sure, why not? I don't go anywhere, anyway. So stalk away!", and "Having someone actually care enough to become obsessed with me would actually be super flattering."

I do understand that in a real life situation, a yandere would probably exhibit "abusive" behavior.
But as long as it wasn't anything super extreme, I think I'd be pretty flexible in what I'd be able to tolerate.

Plus... beggars can't be choosers, right? 
And I'm certainly a beggar. 




On a side note, reading into yanderes and listening to Yandere ASMR videos on YouTube has given me an interest in possibly trying to write some yandere fanfiction. 
Though... who knows if/when that will actually happen.
I tend to lack motivation and inspiration most of the time, despite really wanting to get back into writing.
But, that's really nothing new ^^"

I highly doubt anyone will even read this journal (or any journal I post, for that matter)
But since I'm extremely bored with nothing to do... I thought I'd answer these questions I found 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. What is you middle name?
Marie

2. How old are you?
Old enough

3. When is your birthday?
March 4th

4. What is your zodiac sign?
Pisces

5. What is your favorite color?
Black, even though it's technically not a color

6. What’s your lucky number?
Ten

7. Do you have any pets?
Yup. I have a dog and two cats

8. Where are you from?
I was born, raised in, and still live in Pennsylvania (USA)

9. How tall are you?
Around 5 foot 6 inches

10. What shoe size are you?
It varies, actually.
Sometimes I take a size 10, other times a 13.
It all depends on the shoe... but I do have big feet, regardless xD

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
If bedroom slippers count, then five

12. What was your last dream about?
Somehow, wild animals got into my house and were trying to attack me and my dog.
So I picked up a revolver and shot at them.... 
Which doesn't even make any sense, since I don't even own a revolver. Plus, how the Hell would wild animals get in my home? xD
But yeah... I usually always have really weird dreams ^^"

13. What talents do you have?
Talents? Me? ... You have the wrong person xD
I do enjoy writing, though I haven't actually written anything in quite some time.

14. Are you psychic in any way?
I don't think so.
Though there have been some weird coincidences that have happened before.
But I think that happens to everyone on occasion.

15. Favorite song?
At the moment.... Thoughts and Prayers by Motionless in White

16. Favorite movie?
I like a lot of different movies.
But I'll choose P2 

17. Who would be your ideal partner?
Literally a yandere. No joke, no lie, no exaggeration.
I would find it SUPER flattering if someone was obsessed with me. 
And if they were the stalker-type of yandere.... I don't go many places, so that would make their job a lot easier xD

18. Do you want children?
Eh..... I don't know.
I don't want my own, biological children.
But I would consider adoption.

19. Do you want a church wedding?
Nope

20. Are you religious?
Not at all.
I believe in the possibility of there being some kind of higher power.
And I do find different religions interesting... but I am not personally religious.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
Yes, several times.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
No, thankfully xD

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
I've met the lead singer of Motionless in White on multiple occasions, so I'd say yes ^^

24. Baths or showers?
I prefer showers

25. What color socks are you wearing?
I don't wear socks.
Actually... I can't wear socks.
I had an issue with my two big toes on each foot when I was a kid.
So my Mom took me to a foot doctor. And I don't know what the Hell he did to my toes.... but ever since then, my toes bleed any time I wear socks.
So... I don't wear socks xD
Personally, though, I would walk around barefoot all the time if I was able to. 
I prefer being like a cave person xD

26. Have you ever been famous?
Hahahahaha!!! ..... I wish. 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
Of course. Wouldn't everyone?
Though I'd want to be the kind of celebrity that advocates for those less fortunate, and for those who aren't "famous".

28. What type of music do you like?
I like most genres of music.
Rock, metal, heavy metal, alternative, Kpop, Jrock, classical, etc.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
I have not

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
About four or five 

31. What position do you usually sleep in?
Sitting up xD
Well... actually, reclined.
I have a bad back, and if I sleep laying down I legit cannot move the next morning.
So I have my own recliner in my room that I sleep in ^^

32. How big is your house?
Average?
It's a one story home, but it's just me and my Mom living here.
Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, dining room, living room. 
And two hallways xD

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
Nothing. I never eat breakfast

34. Have you ever fired a gun?
I have, yes.
My Mom has a handgun, so I learned how to use it in case of any type of emergency.
(Especially in today's day and age, with all the violence and home invasions that happen. It's always good to be prepared, no matter what)
My Mom also has a rifle, which I know how to load, hold, etc.
Though, I've never actually fired it before.

35. Have you ever tried archery?
I have not.

36. Favorite clean word?
Moose.
Because that is my dog's name, and I say his name all the time xD

37. Favorite swear word?
Fuck.
I say fuck a lot... not gonna lie ^^"

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
About three days

39. Do you have any scars?
My whole body is covered in scars

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
No... at least I don't think so...

41. Are you a good liar?
I don't lie. I hate liars.

42. Are you a good judge of character?
....This is debatable.
In real life, I'm a pretty good judge of character for the most part.
But in fiction, I usually tend to like all the "bad" and "dangerous" characters xD

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
If I practice a little bit beforehand, I can do a British accent.
And I can kinda, sorta do a German accent... kinda xD

44. Do you have a strong accent?
I don't think so, personally.
But I've been told by someone from South Carolina that I have an accent.
So I guess it just all depends on where you're from, right? ^^

45. What is your favorite accent?
Scottish accents are cute.
Russian accents are sooooooo hot <3

46. What is your personality type?
Boring, depressed, unique, crude at times.... xD

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
I don't wear expensive clothes. 

48. Can you curl your tongue?
Yup, both ways (:

49. Are you an innie or an outie?
Innie

50. Left or right handed?
I am left handed.

51. Are you scared of spiders?
Absolutely! I am deathly afraid of spiders, even super tiny ones ^^"

52. Favorite food?
Pizza

53. Favorite foreign food?
.... Pizza xD
But other than pizza, I'm not really sure.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?
I try to be as clean as possible.
I like to pick up after myself, live in a clean area, etc.

55. Most used phrase?
Probably "I hate my life" or "Nothing ever goes right" 
xD

56. Most used word?
Fuck

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
Usually only about ten minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego?
Not at all. I'm actually a pretty humble person, in my opinion.
I know that I'm not any better than anyone else.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
Suck ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

60. Do you talk to yourself?
When I'm alone, yes

61. Do you sing to yourself?
I'll sing if/when I'm alone, but I don't actually sing to myself xD

62. Are you a good singer?
I don't think so, no

63. Biggest Fear?
Being abandoned...

64. Are you a gossip?
Not at all.
I honestly don't understand why anyone would enjoy gossiping.
If someone trusts me enough to tell me something personal, then you better believe that I'm gonna keep that info to myself.

65. Best suspenseful movie you’ve seen?
Probably Orphan

66. Do you like long or short hair?
Both are fine with me.
Personally, my hair is pretty long. Though I'll probably cut it short once it gets a little cooler out.
But since it's summer now, I always keep my hair up xD

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
I'm pretty sure, yes xD

68. Favorite school subject?
English/Writing class

69. Extrovert or Introvert?
Introvert 100%

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
Nope

71. What makes you nervous?
Honestly... being around little kids.
I always worry about them getting hurt, falling down, bumping into something, etc.

72. Are you scared of the dark?
Hello Darkness, My Old Friend ~
No.... No, I am not.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
Only when reading.
For example : 
When I was in college, there were these two girls that were in a lot of my classes.
And honestly... I've seen 8 year old children who could read better than these two grown, adult women.
I do understand and sympathize with people who have learning disabilities, or even issues like dyslexia.
But!
These girls did NOT care about their education.
They used to always interrupt class by talking, laughing, being extremely obnoxious, etc.
So... the one class we had was called "Constitutional Law".
One time, she was called on to read a simple, short paragraph.
It took her 15 minutes to get through maybe 5 or 6 sentences.
And... instead of saying "constitution", she said "construction".
Like.... we were studying CRIMINAL JUSTICE, not construction.
So yeah, I have zero tolerance for people who cannot read AND do not care to learn or better themselves, AND choose to constantly disrupt those who want to learn. 


74. Are you ticklish?
....Maybe xD

75. Have you ever started a rumor?
No I have not.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
Not really.... 

77. Have you ever drank underage?
I have, yes.
But it was always in a safe environment.

78. Have you ever done drugs?
...Depends on what you consider a drug xD
I've never done anything extreme, though.

79. Who was your first real crush?
.... I'd rather not talk about that....

80. How many piercings do you have?
I have my ears gauged/stretched to 3/4ths.
I used to have my nose pierced, but I took it out ^^"

81. Can you roll your 'R's?
I can, yes 

82. How fast can you type?
Pretty fast.
But that's mostly because I had to take several typing classes, so I had to learn how to type without looking at the keyboard xD

83. How fast can you run?
I'm too fat to run fast xD

84. What color is your hair?
Dark brown

85. What color is your eyes?
Blue

86. What are you allergic to?
From what I know, I just have seasonal allergies

87. Do you keep a journal?
No, I do not.
It's actually sort of difficult for me to actually put my personal thoughts/feelings into words.

88. What do your parents do?
My Mom works full time, and my Dad is dead...

89. Do you like your age?
Not really...
I'm sorta at the point in my life where I wish I was either :
A) A little kid again, completely innocent and blind to how the world actually is
or 
B) Super old, on my death bed, about to die at any second.

90. What makes you angry?
Humanity.

91. Do you like your own name?
Eh..... It's okay, I guess.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
For a boy, I really like the name Lukas.
For a girl, I like the name Alice 
^^

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
Probably a boy.

94. What are you strengths?
I'm very strong willed... I stick to my morals, beliefs, etc.

95. What are your weaknesses?
I'm not the most mentally stable person around.
I mean... I'm not dangerous or unpredictable or anything like that.
But I do have my own demons, which do get the best of me a lot of times.

96. How did you get your name?
My Mom

97. Were your ancestors royalty?
Haha! No xD
If anything, my ancestors were probably peasants xD

98. Do you have any favorite games?
I do enjoy Otome games (Like Mr Love Queen's Choice, Mystic Messenger, Hakuoki, etc)
But I also really LOVE Fire Emblem (Birthright, Conquest, Awakening, etc.)
And, of course, I will always and forever be a fan of the Pokemon games ^^

99. Color of your room?
I painted the walls of my room blue.
If I could re-do my walls.... I'd keep two walls blue, and paint two walls green.
But it is what it is, and I just plan on keeping my room the way it is xD

100. Do you have any posters or wall decorations hanging in your room?
Absolutely, which is why I have no intentions on re-painting my room... because I don't want to have to take down ALL my posters and wall scrolls xD
I was thinking about maybe doing a room tour at some point in the near future (as long as I don't procrastinate like usual).
So if I do indeed do a room tour, I''ll post the pics here ^^

All I can say is that I am addicted to this game sooooo much.

I've always really enjoyed otome games (even though I haven't played a whole lot, personally)
But the few I have played, I really enjoyed.

And Mr Love Queen's Choice is now added to the list of otome games I really like.

Lucien is my number one top favorite out of the choices.

I also like Gavin a lot.
Kiro is a sweetheart.

Victor... I have mixed feelings about Victor.
He's interesting, attractive, etc. But his attitude... I dunno how I'd feel about someone calling me an idiot in real life. I'd probably get super pissed and argue with him xD

Which may seem weird to some people, since I've seen people compare Victor to Jumin from Mystic Messenger... and I really like Jumin. And Zen, and 707 ^u^

But as far as Mr Love Queen's Choice is concerned, Lucien is everything to me OuO

I just wish I wasn't poor, so I could afford to toss a ton of money towards this game to receive more stamina, karma, etc. and finish the game quicker xD

Has anyone else played MLQC yet?
Who do you like most?