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Although I do like Claude quite a bit, I just couldn't resist making this :D
You may have to watch Black Butler 2 in order to understand some of these.




1. Steal his glasses
2. Stare at him constantly, but don't say a word.
3. When he's washing dishes, tell him he missed a spot.
4. Decorate Alois's entire mansion with pictures of Sebastian.
5. If Claude asks from where or how you got the pictures, tell him that you did a little favor for Sebastian in exchange for them. *wink wink*
6. When you see a spider, take off your shoe and go to kill it. Make sure Claude sees this.
7. Give Alois a Ricky Martin CD and urge him to dance to "The Cup Of Life" ~Ole!~
8. Invite Grell over and talk about how devilishly handsome Sebastian is. In front of Claude.
9. Tell Alois he should have Claude wear a pair of booty shorts as his new uniform attire.
10. Tell Claude he looks like he's the child of Sebastian Michaelis and William T. Spears
11. Ask Claude why he couldn't take the form of a more ominous creature, rather than a harmless little spider.
12. Constantly ask Claude if he could tap dance for you.
13. Be overly happy around him.
14. Wear a shirt with a picture of Sebastian on it that says "Number 1 demon. Number 1 butler."
15. Tell Claude he needs to stop being such a Negative Nancy and to start smiling a little.
16. Tell him that he's the first man you ever met that actually knew how to crochet. And enjoyed it.
17. Ask him how he put the Faustian contract mark on Alois's tongue.
18. Tell Claude he reminds you of the Pillsbury Dough Boy when he wears his cooking/baking attire. Then poke him in the stomach to see if he'll laugh.
19. Volunteer to help Claude cook, but "accidentally" drop the ingredients on him. For example: Flour, eggs, sugar, etc. Anything that's messy.
20. Tell him he has absolutely no idea what the word "disguise" means.
21. In front of both Alois and Claude, say "Geez Alois, for Claude being YOUR butler, he sure seems to have a strong fetish for Ciel."
22. Follow Claude wherever he goes, giving no explanation as to why.
23. Start a "Free Hug Day" with Alois, giving random hugs to Claude throughout the day. Especially when he's busy.
24. Tell Claude you want to make a contract...with Sebastian.
25. When Claude and Sebastian are standing near each other, walk up to them and say "Sebastian, isn't it true that crows eat spiders?"
26. Invite Mey-Rin, Finny, and Bard over to "help" with Claude's chores.
27. Slip something into Alois's tea to make him even crazier than normal. Blame Claude.
28. Tell Claude you're jealous over how good he is at painting his fingernails.
29. Ask Claude his views on religion.
30. Get drunk and have an emotional breakdown, venting all your feelings and problems to Claude.
31. Ask Claude just how hot Hell actually is.
32. Ask him if he's part giraffe (because of his abnormally long tongue.)
33. Carry around a Sebastian figurine wherever you go. Ask Claude if he thinks it's as cute as you do.
34. Ask Claude if he ever considered becoming a shinigami (Hence his glasses and the fact he always wears black.)
35. Steal his tailcoat and replace it with a red jacket.
36. Later the same day, walk by him wearing his tailcoat. When he asks for it back, say "No, I like it. Besides, I think red suits you much better. Grell agrees with me. Actually, he was the one to pick out that jacket for you. Don't you love it?"
37. Ask Claude why he hates Sebastian so much, anyway.
38. Get a kitten. Name it Sebastian Jr. Introduce it to Claude.
39. Invite Sebastian over to play with the kitten.
40. Ask Claude why he goes through all the trouble of making contracts with humans when he could simply just eat their souls and kill them.
41. For Halloween, dress up as Ciel. Or better yet, dress up as Sebastian.
42. Ask Claude if he would purr (like a cat) for you.
43. Ask him if he would teach you how to use silverware as weapons.
44. Ask Claude if he likes Hannah. If he says yes, ask "Is that why you like shoving your arm down her throat and why you find it necessary to hide swords in her?"
45. Late at night, hide Claude's crocheting tools. If he catches you, apologize and tell him you must of been sleep walking.
46. Ask Claude what a soul tastes like, and if he thinks your soul would be any good.
47. Invite Grell over and have him hit on Claude all day and night. In return, give Grell a copy of a picture of Sebastian.
48. Constantly refer to Claude as a sadist.
49. Compliment Claude on how pretty his hair is.
50. Finally, if you were still somehow alive: Kiss Sebastian in front of Claude.




One of these, or a combination of a few of them, would most likely end your existence. But it would be so worth it! ^_^
Again, I actually do like Claude.
I love Claude Faustus, but couldn't resist making this :D
Add a Comment:
 
:iconaraki-haiisho:
Araki-Haiisho Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2016  New Deviant Professional Writer
17... I realllly wonder
CLAUDE'S MINE ALONG WITH SEBBY AND CIEL


SORRY TRANCY
Reply
:iconangelgamer4life:
AngelGamer4Life Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I LOVE CLAUDE MORE THAN SEBASTIAN!!!! I love his golden eyes. They are like priceless diamonds!!!
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2015
I agree 100% !! 8D

Not to mention the fact that I tend to fall for characters that can have a rather.... cold personality xD

I do love Sebastian, but I like Claude a LOT more.
There's just something about him... his voice, his hair, his eyes, his personality... everything (:
Reply
:iconangelgamer4life:
AngelGamer4Life Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I must confess, I loved Sebastian first. I started to watch Black Butler because of a friend. But the moment I saw Claude...Nosebleed - Purple Guy.  OMG HE IS PERFECT AND HIS EYES ARE SOOOOO LOVELY!!!! Heart Love 
I have something with a man wears glasses and each time I saw him, I was melting!! HE IS THE ULTIMATE BLACK BUTLER DRUG!!!! Oh, and you forget the way he smiles. That evil smirk, illuminated by the candle light, suits him, along with the moment his golden eyes glows!! SO MUCH LUFF his...lovely golden eyes *dead*
Reply
:iconcallingallfangirls:
CallingAllFangirls Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2015
Inviting Sebastian over to play with the kitten...Sounds like a good way to die. Love this though XD
Reply
:iconrixe-rhapsodos:
Rixe-Rhapsodos Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015
Oh poor Claude-chan, I would NEVER do this to you..... NOT! Even though I love you like no other and I hate to be killed, it would just be too fun to do any of these to you. Sorry love!!!!!
Reply
:iconclaudefaustus231:
ClaudeFaustus231 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2015  New Deviant
Thank You..........~
Reply
:iconmadamefluttershy:
MadameFluttershy Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I'm probably committing suicide if I attempt one of these. But it's more likely worth it.
Reply
:iconsoulreaper22345:
SoulReaper22345 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2015
Oh, I love this!
Reply
:iconfadingsunsets:
FadingSunsets Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh god this is amazing XD
Reply
:iconmasterkat6:
masterkat6 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So funny xD Would love to see them written out in a short or something ^^

Thank you for the good laughs!
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015
I'm actually doing that right now xD


I'll probably post the first part tomorrow or the next day (:


You're very welcome!
And thank you!! 8D
Reply
:iconmasterkat6:
masterkat6 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Awesome! Can't wait to read it Spaz Zaeon 
Reply
:icondemoncircuscat:
DemonCircusCat Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
OMF I CAN'T BREATHE XD
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015
I'm happy you enjoyed it! ^_^
Reply
:iconshe-elf176:
She-Elf176 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2015
LOL this is awesome I killed my self :D (Big Grin) Love OMG MOAR POEMS! Wink/Razz  
Reply
:iconhardcorefangirl01:
HardcoreFangirl01 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2015
Sebastian Jr.
kiss Sebastian.
No.1 demon.
My favorites. Made my day.
Reply
:iconxxemokittyrealxx:
xxemokittyrealxx Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2015
I would sooooo do #50 ROFL!!!!
Reply
:icontartspop:
TartsPop Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
Hey, final-(ish) part's out.
www.quotev.com/story/5580793/P…
Bloop.
I know this one sucks, I'm sorry x3
Reply
:iconemoskittlzkitty:
EmoSkittlzKitty Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
XDDDDD hahaha i love this
Reply
:iconwlucyw:
wLucyw Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
i just have to laugh!!! 50 is the best :'D
Reply
:iconmiiiidori-chan:
Miiiidori-chan Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2015  Hobbyist
Oh, if I'd die after doing one of these I'd either do No.50 or No.2 ^^ Really hard to choose...
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015
xD

You can do Number 2 and then run to do Number 50 xD
Reply
:iconmiiiidori-chan:
Miiiidori-chan Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2015  Hobbyist
YESSS!!! Great idea, gonna try it now!! *off to work* ^^
Reply
:icondemonicangelface:
DemonicAngelface Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
17 really, how did he?

21: XDDDDDDD sooo true
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015
The ONLY explanation I have for number 17:

Demons can take on different forms. (pretty much shape shifting)

Sebastian has been seen as a crow and a cat (that time Ciel was by himself and that 'cat' guided him to the shipping dock)
And Claude has been seen as a spider.

So maybe when Claude was that small spider in the Trancy manor, he got into Alois's mouth and bit his tongue, thus sealing the contract and leaving his mark.

...That's the only way I could think xD

Unless he like.... kissed Alois and bit his tongue, but I don't think that happened xD
Reply
:icondemonicangelface:
DemonicAngelface Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Well, he does have a fetish for young boys, so the second one would work. If you know what I mean *wink wonk*
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015
....That's something I would throw in his face if I could! xD

I almost forgot about him pretty much assaulting Ciel with a toothbrush.
And then when Claude kissed his foot... >_<
xD
Reply
:icondemonicangelface:
DemonicAngelface Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Pffffffffft XD
Reply
:iconcheergirl996:
cheergirl996 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015
I love this! Bipolar  Ole! Sebastian Michaelis (Hawt look) [V1] :huehuehue: Heart 3D 
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015
Thank you for saying so, I'm glad you like it! ^_^
Reply
:iconcheergirl996:
cheergirl996 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015
Thank you for making this, it was in need! Heart 
Reply
:iconemilyevangeliner:
EmilyEvangelineR Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015
I am deathly afraid of spiders but I surprisingly like Claude but it would be so much fun to mess with him.
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015
Same here! xD

I'm also deathly afraid of spiders... even the REALLY tiny ones...
I run away the moment I see one xD

But Claude is sooooo amazing, I love him <3
Reply
:iconjett1038:
Jett1038 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Student General Artist
21

BUUUUURRRRRRNRNNNNNNNN
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2015
xD

It is true, though xD
Reply
:iconjett1038:
Jett1038 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2015  Student General Artist
But still 
BUUUUUURRRNNNNN
Reply
:iconauronef-zilberschlag:
I like spiders so I could never harm one...
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2015
You can just pretend to ^_^

Like... right in front of Claude, take your shoe off and walk towards a spider, raise your shoe up and pretend that you're gonna kill it.

Because really, I think Claude would immediately stop someone from harming any spider xD
Reply
:iconauronef-zilberschlag:
I liked spiders before I even knew Claude existed, lol. My cousin had a pet tarantula and I always stared at it in amazement. I'd probably be too afraid to even look like I was doing it. I tried fake fighting and that didn't go so well. (Unless he was a very good actor and scared me into never doing it again.) I'd probably accidentally kill it and I would never forgive myself...

Plus I think Claude would know when someone's faking. I mean, it's Claude.
Reply
:iconlilacdreamer816:
LilacDreamer816 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2015  Hobbyist
Hahaha. Really awesome tips!! but I don't want to annoy my husband hahahaI am a dummy! Clap La la la la  Real Awesome!
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2015
I'm glad you liked them! ^_^

Well... you can just do some of these if Claude ignores you :3

xD
Reply
:iconanimelover40387:
animelover40387 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014
Lol, this is too funny!! XD
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014
I'm really happy you like it! ^_^
Reply
:iconpuppetchainsaw:
PuppetChainsaw Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I killed a Spider and Claude went REALLY mad like his face... IT WAS A RAPEFACE...
Reply
:icontylrael:
tylrael Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2014  Student Artisan Crafter
Must. Try. All. Of. The. Numbers.
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014
xD


I know, I would LOVE to try all these myself~ :iconhurrplz:
Reply
:iconnatsuhitachiin:
NatsuHitachiin Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014  Student Artist
Teach me to tap dance!
Reply
:iconoppafaustusstyle:
OppaFaustusStyle Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2014
:iconravebutlerplz:
xD
Reply
:iconnatsuhitachiin:
NatsuHitachiin Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2014  Student Artist
Yay!!!!!
Reply
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